Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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