He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
