I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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