What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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