Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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