so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
