HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
