we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
