I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
