Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
