There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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