She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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