yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
