so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
