fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
