No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
