when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
