bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
