If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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