You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
