I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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