Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
