I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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