She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
