hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
