Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
