i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
