Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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