the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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