Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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