Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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