He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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