I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
