She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
