so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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