My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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