I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
