do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
