its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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