Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
