im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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