I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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