So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
