too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
