question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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