You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
