A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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