I think I won the penis lottery.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
