sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
