Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
